“Sister Ann, aren’t you putting on a little weight?” Father Dan asked during a visit to the convent, eyeing her noticeably round stomach. The nun smiled sweetly and replied, “Oh no, Father. It’s just a little gas.” Months later, he noticed her habit barely fit anymore. When he asked again, she blushed and repeated, “Just a bit of gas, Father.”

On his next visit, Father Dan walked down the corridor and passed Sister Ann pushing a baby carriage. Curious, he peeked inside and smiled. “Well,” he said gently, “that’s one cute little fart.”

One weekday, a priest visited an elderly parishioner, Mrs. Smith. She welcomed him in warmly and served tea. While chatting, the priest noticed a bowl of almonds and began snacking. Hours later, he panicked at the time. “I’ve eaten all your almonds! I’ll replace them next visit.” Mrs. Smith waved it off. “Don’t worry, Father. Ever since I lost my teeth, I just lick the chocolate off them.”

A minister, a priest, and a rabbi went hiking on a scorching day and jumped naked into a secluded lake to cool off. When a group of women suddenly appeared, the minister and priest covered themselves, while the rabbi covered his face. Later they asked why. He shrugged, “In my congregation, it’s my face they’d recognize.”

At dinner, a young man introduced his fiancée to his parents. During the meal, she let out a quiet fart. The father shouted, “Rocky!”—the dog. Relieved, she did it again. “Rocky! Careful!” Encouraged, she let another rip. The father finally yelled, “Rocky! Get out of there—she’s going to ruin you!”