Drunk guy gets pulled over. Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him. The final test the officer says “if you can pass this last test I will let u go… use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence.” So the drunk man replies “My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!”

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.
He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”
The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”

“Okay, fine.” Sighs the office. “I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.” “I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac.” Says the man. “If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”

“Well, then we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry officer I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar.”
“Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”

“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m too drunk.”