An old woman was walking her dog one evening when a young man snatched her purse and ran off. A couple across the street rushed over to check on her, saying the police were on their way. The old woman smiled and said, “It’s really no big deal. I carry my old purse to put my dog’s poop in it until I get home to dispose of it.” Imagine the thief’s surprise when he opens the purse.

A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. “Where are you going?” he asked. She replied, “To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men who will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!” The husband thought for a moment and then began packing his bags. “What do you think you are doing?” she screamed. “I’m going to Las Vegas with you… I want to see how you’re going to live on $1,000 a year.”

An old lady was waiting to park when a young man in a red Mercedes took her spot. Upset, she told him, “I was going to park there!” He smugly replied, “That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”