70-year-old widow posts newspaper advert looking for new husband, only for it to go viral

Getting back into the dating world can be strange, and intimidating, especially if it’s been a long time since you were last single. Of course, the most important lesson to remember is that it’s crucial you stay open to others and don’t judge anyone too quickly.

It was with that in mind that I decided to share a funny story I recently came across online. It involves a 70-year-old widow, a newspaper advert, and a search for a new husband.

She was at home one day when her doorbell suddenly rang … only, she couldn’t possibly have predicted who would be on the other side.

Read the full hilarious joke below — and make sure you stick with it until the punchline.

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again…

She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Why not help cheer a friend up? Share this joke and help give someone a good laugh!

VS

Related Posts

Why I Recently Invested $6,500 in a Registered Black Angus Bull

Earlier this year, I spent $6,500 on a registered Black Angus bull for my small cattle operation, expecting he would strengthen my herd and prove worth the…

10 Things to Know About Ramen Noodles and Tips for Making Them a Healthier Choice

Instant ramen is a quick, affordable meal loved worldwide, but in its basic form it isn’t very nutrient-dense. Most varieties are made from refined flour, offering calories…

My Daughter Was Picked On By The Football Captain. They Didn’t Know Her Father Was A 4-star General Watching From The Shadows.

The phone vibrated once—silent, sharp, impossible to ignore. In a secure briefing room where no personal calls existed, I knew only one person had this number. My…

My Dog Returned My Late Daughter’s Sweater and Guided Me to an Unexpected Discovery

In the weeks after losing my daughter Lily, life felt impossible. Every corner of our home carried traces of her—her laughter, her art supplies, and the sunflower…

Soft Hearts, Small Circles: The Beauty of Quiet Connections

Many people assume that gentle, compassionate individuals naturally attract large social circles—imagining them surrounded by friends and included in every event. Yet some of the kindest people…

Rediscovering the Charcoal Iron: How an Early Invention Transformed Household Care

Long before sleek electric irons became a household staple, families relied on a surprisingly inventive tool to keep their clothing neat—the charcoal iron. What looks like a…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *